217: he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
713: Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
856: also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I’ve come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
405: You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
586: Are we at that point yet where I can just say “I want you sit on my face”? If not, want to go out for “drinks”?
941: so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
480: please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I’d give you head
608: I’m excited I love mornings when I’m not sober
916: I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
716: fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans